setasaway's Blog

Failure

I’ve become the student that I was back in Grade 12…the lazy kind that can’t get any work done. Just now, I went to go and write a test, and I fucking failed it misrably. I wasn’t even able to answer the last question at all, which was concidentally worth the most marks. I couldn’t even prove the fucking trigonometric identities because I did not even know what to do once I had finished changing them to their respective counterparts. Is there even any point to working hard for university anymore, as I’ve decided that I want to attend Ryerson here in Toronto. All I have to do is maintain an average that is over 70 in order to get accepted. It is not even possible to keep an average that will be over 80 for Waterloo in anycase, I’ve been doing terribly in school lately. My motivation to work hard and do well is gone. What once existed in order to fuel my drive to work hard and succeed in the begining of the year is gone. And it would be terrible to get that motivation back, even if I wanted to get all the rest of these stupid units done. I don’t even know if I’ll be able to finish the year this year, there are so many stupid projects that I have to do yet not want to touch because it involves talking to teachers whose courses I’ve not been working on for an extended amount of time; more than I should have allowed myself to do. I feel terrible; there is no way that I’m going to finish this year with a bang. More like a whimper. I hate school, and I hate units.